Pitt Guru comes out of retirement

Harry Psaros, known worldwide, or at the very least Butler County, as the Pitt Guru, has come out of retirement. This is not a shocking development since he is battling PSR's Chris Dokish for the amount of recruiting sites he will work on, but what IS shocking is that it happened so soon.

Psaros, hereby known in this article as the Guru, left Rivals after realizing Pantherlair publisher Jim Snyder was, in the Guru's words, "crazier than a shithouse rat". (Ed. note- Scrivals verified this with over 1,000 people).

What the Guru did not realize when making his move to Panther Digest was that he no longer had Snyder's incompetence to distract everybody from himself. The result was that the Guru, never considered to be a fully functioning adult in the first place, was now exposed as completely insane. This first became clear when the Guru claimed his son, christened Saint Maximos the Hut Burner Psaros, took a dump during his baptism, which the Guru dubbed "a sacred poop". He thought, according to what can only be described as his manifesto, that this was proven when LeSean McCoy committed to the Panthers that day. Saint Maximos the Hut Burner could not be reached for comment, but his publicist later sent a message from him in which he replied, "Oh dear God, why me?"

But now the Guru has put all of that behind him as Scrivals sources can now reveal that he was again seen stalking teenage boys at the Pittsburgh International Airport. Our source gave chase to ask the Guru which high school football player he was waiting for to come off the plane, but the Guru scampered off after finding his target, yelling, "My son shit today so I know you will be our much needed linebacker!!"

After hearing this news, we at Scrivals worked the phones to see which of the networks had hired him, and more, importantly, why. We asked both Jim Snyder of the Pantherlair and Bob Lichtenfels of Panther Digest for a comment. Snyder was busy staring at a wall, so he didn't have much time, but he did deny that the Guru was working for him and that "Z#2 rules!!". Reached at a mud bog outside of Johnstown, Lichtenfels said, "Whassup, nigga?". Lichtenfels continued to talk like a black 15 year old until we eventually put the phone down and walked away.

Thus, the only conclusion that we can come up with is that the Guru is starting his own site, a site that nobody but him can see. We wish him luck and we are happy that he is back in the game.