The Pitt football team added another highly ranked tight end today, according to Bob Lichtenfels of Scout.com. Lichtenfels was told by a source, which is another way of saying he was prowling around the Panthers 7 on 7 camp and a member of the Pitt staff, against NCAA rules, told him that Nick DiLillo of Madison, OH had committed.
In a poor attempt to act prefessionally neutral, Lichtenfels then drove DiLillo back home, gave him some milk and cookies, and tucked him into bed. "I needed the affection just as much as he did," said Lichtenfels. "The Penn State fans are on to me and now know that I am an extra recruiter for Pitt."
The Panthers are still trying to add excellent West Scranton tight end Hubie Graham in an attempt to run Matt Cavanaugh's new ten tight end offense. It is just another experimental move undertaken by the Panthers staff following the announcement of Paul Rhoades' new defense, called "The Tommie Campbell", that employs linebackers with no discernable talent.
The Pantherlair, showing their incompetence again, quickly followed suit and reported that DiLillo had committed, forgetting to cite Lichtenfels as their source. Lichtenfels was busy giving Pitt head coach Dave Wannstedt a sponge bath and could not answer more questions, but Panther Digest moderator Chris94, defending his Lord to the death, released a statement:
"We here at Panthers Digest, and all God fearing people in the Universe, knows that Bob craps long S-shaped God bars and pisses pink lemonade. While any rational person would have to assume that Bob is being very unprofessional in the way he does business, and quite frankly alienates many people with his massive ego and childlike cluelessness, I have decided that is okay because as a moderator I get the information for free, even if non-paying members get the exact same info three seconds later."
